Every holiday and weekend spent with the grandparents
she was hauled to church.
She didn’t know why she had to go
her parents just told her, she must
as they stuffed her into a cute little dress
with tulle that itched.
Her grandparents told her this was what you do.
You must go to church
to pray and sing the lord’s name. So,
she sat through it all, quietly, politely. Until one day.
On that one day the Baptist preacher said something
that disturbed her little nine-year-old mind.
…die with joy, knowing you will be with God.
No. No she didn’t want to die
not with joy, not with anything!
She was too young to die.
She had so much more life to live.
She broke ties with the church, religion, that family tradition.
Just like her father had a few years before.
But unlike her father, she was adrift
not knowing where to go next.
It took her years of searching, but soon she realized
I believe, not in God, but in the universe.