Doggerel Dave

Slow Learner

 

Our Dad’s ambition was to emigrate;

Decided Australia was his goal.

Organised swimming lessons while we wait;

Head of our family, saw this his role.

 

A Sunday morning in cold November,

Tiled surfaces and heavy chlorine;

Victorian baths in all their splendor.

I learnt how to swim when not quite a teen.

 

Sometime later Dad did achieve this goal;

Still a young kid I was dragged along too:

Townsville North Queensland, a school, I enroll -

“Wednesday is sport – compulsory for you:

 

“There’s football and cricket, teams you’re not in

Until you can swim – so first we must test……”

(Cricket? - solid ball fired at my noggin…

Hard contact footy? I’m already stressed).

 

Olympic swimming pool beside the sea

Palm trees, fresh breeze - blissfully tropical;

Maybe this ruling might be right for me -

No cricket, no footy, no hospital.

 

And there you have it  – go on, guess the rest:

Unable to swim Wednesday afternoon.

This talentless pupil failed every test:

“Yes Sir (teacher), I’ll get my rhythm soon…………..”

 

 

And so this continued, then the school offered golf and as my complexion was beginning to suffer (a wrinkly fifteen year old?) I somehow managed to pass.

 

 

Obligation free excerpt from my soon to be published three volume autobiography “I’ve Knocked About a Bit” Limited edition Moroccan leather bound $750; Paperback $300. Toilet roll texts $150 ea. Delivery extra. Orders taken now.