It\'s You, It\'s You
Yet again I put the blame on you
You are the reason am here
We said our goodbyes months ago
Somehow I am overwhelmed by the pain now
How long does the pain last
How come when you left I was numb
I thought it was progress
I hate how am questioning my sanity at this point
I thought I drank you out of my system
A habit that made me puke my self-love
But somehow in my head, it felt like I was removing you from my system
Am now stuck in rehab because of you
I wasn\'t hurt
I swear I was okay
Alcohol was my silver lining
The feel-good feeling that blinded me when I didn\'t think of you when the alcohol hit
If it was your loss for losing me
How come I am the one suffering
Stuck in this rehab alone to write my thoughts
It\'s you, you should be here
You were my high
With all the emotional rollercoasters you put me through
You touched me and injected me with your facade of kisses
Making me believe that maybe I do miss you
But I don\'t, It\'s You
You just made it worse
I found another victim, my wrist
It called out to me every night I shed another tear for you
You are not worthy of love
Am I not worthy of that love that I yearn so much for
I can\'t do it
I stare at my wrist again holding onto the pen I am using to vent my emotions
The words on the paper staring at me, meaningless
Maybe a drop of blood will bring them to life
But no It\'s you, why should I hurt myself
I don\'t want to
I am okay, I swear
It\'s just that I wish you could feel how bad you made me feel
Will you mourn for me hearing about my death
I doubt you moved on so easily
Found a distraction
You decided to leave but torture my thoughts
I don\'t want to feel like this
I am putting the pen down
I want to live
Survive
Really be okay
I need help letting go
Am scared because my identification has been attached to the pain
I won\'t know who I am without the pain
It\'s Me, I need to let go
Remember myself and fall in love with my scars
I will be fine
I hope so