lonelyraccoon

12.20.04 and now

You may have died 17 years ago today

But I\'ve always had a selfish wish

To keep you alive

You may have been ready to go

The expiration date given to by your sickness

Had been outlived by your will to survive

Just long enough to see your baby turn a year old

 

But we were not ready to let you go

17 years later I am clinging onto your existence

Or rather the empty space it left behind

You were somebody\'s husband

Somebody\'s father

Somebody\'s son-in-law

Somebody\'s brother-in-law

You were somebody

That lost your human form far too young

 

Some days are a battle

If fate was right to take you away

Because so many things have happened

Good or bad

As a result of your death

Or if fate was wrong

Because it robbed three young children and a young wife of her husband

Robbed a young man of his good health, mobility, and future

How is that the right thing to have happened?

How can you explain to a little girl, that all along

Her father was supposed to die just 5 days short of her second Christmas?

Leaving her to spend the next 17 years

Without her father who fought longer than he was meant to,

just for her

What words can make sense of that?

Do they exist out there?

 

.t.b.