i’ve always wondered why people body shame others
why do i need to live up to what you think i should look like
most people don’t even fit into the image you set for everyone else
somewhere in childhood i grew habits that were unhealthy
turning to food for confort and also not eating when i was sad
i fluctuate in weight as my feelings change
when i’m happy i get fuller when i’m sad you can barely see me
i fade away into nothing because thats what people want me to be so as i grow more depressed people tell me how amazing my body looks
and for a while i start to think the same so i keep not eating i keep hurting my health to look “good”
my mind is in flames
my stomach burning because i havent ate in 2 days
as i write this i feel the need to say i am my biggest critic
i tell myself how bad i look and also find myself saying how amazing i am constantly
what’s sad is that i speak out to people i love telling them how i feel about myself in the hope that they can put my demons at bay for at least the day
i put my trust into them
i put my love for myself into their actions and words
it hurts when they forget how sensitive i am
i understand why they forget
not everyone has gone through the same trials to love their body
they have been “skinny” all their lives
my stomach grumbles and I take a pill to sleep hoping that i can get through another day without eating
people tell me well if you don’t like your body workout
WORK FOR IT
when i can barely get out of bed in the morning and when i do its because i have to work
to pay for my life that i’m unhappy about because i feel uncomfortable in my own body
no one gets mental illness unless they have gone through the same or have educated themselves of it
i expect too much
so with that i sign off wishing you all the best
be careful how much you open up
it can hurt when people tell you
”what’s best for you”
because
“they are your friend”
or
“they care about you”
why did you need to say that why?