Hello my dear I\'m so pleased to meet
It is seldom someone stops to greet
I\'m a rogue and a rake, I\'m John Haddock the Hake
It\'s a thousand years that I have been awake
I live down in the sea in the depths of the deep
And I graze the sea-bottom like a sheep
But when I get hungry, we\'ll make no mistake
Because I am a raider, I\'m John Haddock the Hake
My teeth are plentiful, my mouth so big
I can sweep you up with one great swig
There is no lily-pussying on my shoal, oh no!
For I am king Haddock the Hake, just so
Don\'t you go soft and crying and all
Cause I am big and you are small
You think tears in water, no one can see
...except for one, John Haddock, that\'s me
I can sense your weakness from under the waves
And I get what I want as do all knaves
The big eats the small that’s eternal law
And I am John Haddock the Hake, hee-haw!