We (myself and thee missus)
experienced shell shock
analogous to war weary soldiers
back home from the western front
experiencing battlefield flashback
analogous to awakening dormant
post traumatic stress disorder.
Mental health challenged renter
twice threatened us
(think rabid wild animal
violently lunging at unwitting victim),
whereby nearly deadly encounter
with malicious malevolent male
regarding second confrontation
found dearly beloved spouse,
rushing pell mell into apartment
faster than bat out of hell.
The initial occasion of fright
awakened us to bizarre ejaculations
out the mouth of unhinged
forty one year old
mental health challenged individual,
who uttered angry
string of colorful expletives
before he ambled off in a huff
into the great beyond
undoubtedly bringing bedlam
in his wake beyond highland manor.
Incident number two
found the missus
cornered and threatened
courtesy fiendish irate lunatic,
who brandished clenched fist
(possibly concealing a deadly weapon)
scaring the heebie jeebies
out the lovely bones of ma lady
subsequently witnessing daredevil escape.
She tore off (in half sashay)
away from maws of maniacal madman
at breakneck speed
just managing to elude
fate worse than death
(think skin of her teeth getaway)
breathless and thankfully just
in nick of time safely ensconced
within our apartment.
Once she (figuratively) caught her breath,
after smattering of scant minutes,
we both collected our composure
immediately and suddenly heard
an unexpected loud rap upon door
late morning/early afternoon
circa aforementioned date,
which initially understandably
signalled immediate alarm,
and puzzled deux countenances
startling yours truly and mine wife,
of course set our hearts racing
a mile a minute,
cuz we presumed the psychotic dude
returned to wreak vengeance
for no particular rhyme nor reason.
I dashed to answer pounding knock
lo and behold, unbeknownst to us
divine intervention beheld as benevolence
forsooth a good samaritan hashtagged
and dubbed saving grace
gussied up as brilliant ethereal spirit
shone forth greeting yours truly
with a shimmering halo,
thus thankfully nipping in bud
and thwarting potential major crisis,
predicated upon our forgetfulness
courtesy discombobulated
disgruntled, and distracted demeanor
to remove apartment key
and other important keys
from respective aperture,
which as averred got left dangling
outside the door
amidst the hubbub,
said good samaritan savior incognito
politely handed over jingling keys,
she unwittingly intervened
in timely manner
cuz someone could have
brazenly stolen set
lock, stock and barrel,
which oversight linkedin
to altercations with resident schizophrenic.