I\'ve gained some peace,
Since you\'ve been gone.
Although I do feel bad,
Because you needed me to lean on.
But if I\'m not strong enough,
To stand on my own two feet,
If I can hardly move,
Because of wobbly knees.
Then how can I possibly,
Use my own energy,
To hold your hand through your own healing?
To lend you an ear,
When I can\'t truly hear,
To offer you support,
Although I can\'t handle being there.
It\'s not that I don\'t love you,
Or that I don\'t care.
It\'s not that I don\'t miss you.
And no it\'s not fair.
It\'s just that I\'m trying
To be all that I can be,
To wake up tomorrow
And be better than today.
It\'s that being a mother, a wife, a caretaker and a worker,
Is all an awful lot of pressure,
Especially knowing that I can\'t touch the bottle.
It\'s having to be present.
And learning who I am.
It\'s the fact that I\'m so young,
But I\'m trying as hard as I can.
I\'ve fucked up,
a whole lot of times.
Some worse than others,
And now I must learn,
To navigate this chapter of my life.
So yes,
It\'s been more peaceful,
Since you\'ve been gone,
But I encourage you,
To continue moving on.
Just because I can\'t be there,
And I don\'t want to be close friends,
Doesn\'t mean I don\'t wish you, the very best.
But my family needs me now.
And I need myself,
There is no room to fall, over someone else.
So with all due respect and so much love wished for you,
I\'m glad I said goodbye,
It was the right thing to do.