in all honesty
trying to explain what you do to me sounds ridiculous
the almost silent sigh of disappointment that escapes from your lips contains the ability to have my world crash down on me
the way your lips curl slightly upwards, forming the smallest indents into your cheeks can make hell seem like heaven
your inability to respond to texts in a timely manner makes me feel as though im drowning
the silky yet ever-so-slightly gravely laughter that escapes your throat makes it feel like i am bathing in sunlight
this cannot be healthy
loving every single aspect of a person
the good
the bad
the beautiful
the ugly
the hurting
the loving
the breaking
the healing
loving every single part of it cannot be right
how is it possible to be so utterly obsessed with another human being
to the point where you would take lives for them
whether that be someone else’s or your own
how is it possible that any small movement you do can make or break my heart
that the way your arm grazes mine makes the hole in my stomach fill with butterflies
and the way your sad eyes peer into mine can turn those butterflies into wasps
loving a person this much
becoming obsessed with this person
their emotions determining the outcome of my day
cannot be healthy
cannot be safe
it is toxic
and if i were smarter
or simply another person
i would leave for the sake of my mental
but,
i am not smarter.
i am not another person.
i am me,
and i am yours.