as soon as i spoke your name into existence
you evaporated in the same breath,
condensated on the windows of my heart
and left them ajar.
i can feel the ice from your mouth
slap me across the face
until it turns to water from the warmth of my blotted cheeks,
making the windowpanes weep.
i keep holding back the sunlight
because the conversations heal me
but there’s only so many words i can use when painting my skin to hide purple bruise.
i’ve been bathing under moonlit speech for one too many nights
and now my fingers are wrinkled like fossil
hoping to be gazed upon like the one at my local zoo.
yes, time is not real
but i have to be able to distinguish between healing and changing,
the black and the white
exchanging and rearranging.
it’s time to let the light in
so bright that it burns my eyes
and brings new vision,
so strong that it fills the void
brunette boys couldn’t.
so warm that it dries all the raindrops,
send them back to default
and give me a new source of food.
help me grow,
help me bloom.