The day I found out you wanted to kill me,
I felt no resentment.
I just sat fixed in my armchair,
And began to observe life and its intricacies.
It was a warm and humid day,
The bees were swarming by,
As usual.
The ancient trees from my square window
Swayed with the sway of their typical uncalled-for happiness.
If only mankind could be more passive like nature –
If only we had that same flair of cordiality –
That each Old Oak and each Larking Lilac
Silently exhibits.
The day I found out you wanted to kill me,
I felt no alarm.
I just prepared myself a cup of coffee,
And began to read your death threat.
It was sent as “anonymous,”
But your handwriting is too peculiar to not notice.
You said some pretty harsh things in that letter.
It reminded me of my blunt poetry.
I would’ve never imagined the cavernous depths
Of the abysmal holes in your heart.
Right from the start,
Of the first sentence,
Of the first word,
Of the first letter.
I felt nothing but sympathy.
Actually, scratch that, empathy.
Because each human on this occult Earth
Has cuts and bruises in their hearts from birth.
The day I found out you wanted to kill me,
I called you nonstop.
It must’ve been 30 missed calls,
But each sent me to voicemail.
“Beep”\'
Hi I know your mad at me but please call me back.
“Beep”
Hey I’ve tried to call you like ten times please text me at least.
“Beep”
FOR GODSAKES PLEASE PICK UP THE PHONE! I LOVE YOU, PLEASE, DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE LIKE THIS!
The day I found out you wanted to kill me,
I just wanted to talk you out of it.
With me and my poetic nature,
A Sylvia Plath line came to mind when reading your letter:
“The pain you wake to is not yours”
This was all I wanted to tell you.
The hurt you wake to,
Your family setbacks,
The lovelessness you feel,
It’s not yours.
Your birthright of “evil,” doesn’t define who you are.
The person you think you are,
Because of past scars,
The tar-black stars,
THEY hanged around your head and claimed
That you must chase to death...
Doesn’t have any power over you.
The day I found out you wanted to kill me,
I just wanted to love you more than ever before.
I just wanted to tell you,
“You are loved”
I just wanted a chance to hug you till your tears came rolling
Down my shoulders and into the Earth where new life will Commence.
A new chance to show the world that your past doesn’t define you.
A new chance to prove that it is possible to become a new being.
That despite you being who you think you are now,
You have the power to revolutionize your future.
A chance to dictate your emotions into bundled
Flowers of love.
Into a sturdy Grand Oak that will be impregnable
To outside forces that want to intrude and encrust
Your soul with murky old oil.
The day I found out you wanted to kill me,
I set down my coffee
Closed the windows
Shut the curtains
Grabbed the keys
And drove to your place.
The day I found out you wanted to kill me,
I thrusted open your door
And knocked the GUN that was pointed
To YOUR head.
The day I found out you wanted to kill me,
I saved YOUR life instead.
And finally gave you that warm embrace and promised
I won’t you leave you alone anymore.
“The pain you wake to is not yours”