Why does everything crash at once?
I wake up to the news you are at the hospital that you went and didn’t know what was wrong
I sit in my room on my floor just waiting for news on when your to come home.
There was one thing I could have never expected.
I already had to deal with the start of a global pandemic and my grandfather fighting lymphoma, I didn’t need to deal with you fighting brain cancer too
They always say things happens for a reason but why did it have to happen to us. Why did it have to happen to you?
You call me late at night with your voice wavering. You call from a hospital bed trying to stay strong. You call to tell me you have cancer
That is the only night I completely lost control.
My vision got fuzzy.
My head loud.
My body shaking
I drop my phone from my unstable hands onto the floor and I break. I cry and cry for hours on end not seeing any light
I am stuck in tunnel that had both sides blocks with concrete
I cry
I cry
I cry
I hear your faint voice from the discarded phone. I can’t say anything except mumble a string of no
“No no no no”
I curl up and sit in my thoughts not letting my eyes dry for even a second
I feel sadness then anger
Why did it have to be you!
Why did it have to be now!
You told me you would go into surgery the next day and even though you didn’t tell me you had a small change of survival I knew that already
I pray
I pray
I pray
The next day comes
You are out and everything went well
You made it Mama
You made it and you fought for your life
That was two years ago but your still fighting
You will continue to fight because your my Mama and I won’t lose you to something like cancer
You made it Mama.