Rocky Lagou

On the Passing of my Mother

This is my breaking point.

 

Our long anticipation is finally over,

The tears are no longer deliberate

They’ve grown old on our saggy bucket faces

The only one looking up now - is gone.

 

Silence hugs each one of us

With a firm embrace so eerie yet so soothing

When all other elements are against you,

The only comfort comes from the things not hungry to kill.

 

There lies an open box,

So long and full of memories

All things fulfilled and left undone

All lie within the longitude of this worldly box -

 

The vastness is almost unbearable

An enormous ship rolling in the waves of

Shed tears, rolling away from the sphere

Making its way to the pier – which is far beyond reach.

 

My grandmother

Grief-stricken and in her 80s

Kneels before the sight of her own daughter

On her delicate old knees, she prays this last prayer.

 

Never,

In a million years,

Would I have thought I would see

My grandma in such a pitiful position.

 

So, there we were

Long anticipation finally over and HERE.

Dry faces, drought eyes, and the Sorrow that comes

To hunt each heart to shreds, HERE.

 

With no other way of expression

I stand before my mother

And sing. Sing my heart into 3 intimate pieces,

Taking in all that my eyes can behold, knowing it’ll be the last time.

 

Mom, you never changed, even now after death.

I see you in your natural hair color

And I know you never liked wigs; you’d always fuss their presence.

But in this Blonde you look more alive than ever

 

Your brown finery

And the pearls dangling from your ears -

Oh, you knew if you were going to go

You would make it an ornate occasion -

 

Not to mention the white jeweled necklace

Resting on your chest

With the Cross on the end hugging

Your soft hands atop your heart -

 

This isn’t the way I expected life to take you,

Nor take me,

But as the service eases its way to a closure

I begin to appreciate every aspect of life -


It was a good fight,

I’m so glad you were my warrior inspiration.

So, I approach your calm face

And kiss you on your upper cheek

 

The coldness almost took me off guard,

But within that chill,

A spark of fire engulfed me

A transcendence of past, present, future.

 

I left that day

Emotion overloaded, but

Thick-skinned.

With a rejuvenated sense of existence.