It’s been a long time
That it’s been a crime
To eat another man
But its been just fine
On animals to dine
Any time you can
Eat a corpse you’re a ghoul
Something alive now that’s really cruel
Most of what you eat is dead
Causing pain’s not cool
It’s against the rule
Better to eat a loaf of bread
For it’s not right to eat
A poor creature’s meat
even if it’s eggs yogurt or cheese
Chew instead on a beet
Nothing with feelings or feet
only fruit, pasta or peas
Some say it’s only right
On plants to bite
But is this really true
They’re in a terrible plight
No way to fight
But they’re living creatures just like me or you
Now microbes are small
They shouldn’t count at all
But you’re full of these animals don’t you know
Inside your intestinal wall
Ever so small
They keep you well and help you to grow
Just because they can’t talk
Paint, do math or walk
We call their species inferior
Their inability\'s we mock
Of their genius we take no stock
We ingest them then eject them out our posterior
It’s nature’s way
It happens every day
Every living thing is equal
Don’t let anyone say
What you can’t eat or what you may
To every life there’s a sequel
But don’t think yourself a saint
Because that you aint
But then don’t think of yourself as a sinner
So don’t be faint
Your soul you won’t taint
If you have uncle Charlie for dinner
As Dommer would say
A vegan I’ll stay
I promise to eat my vegetable greens
In spelling I won’t get an A
But I’ll maintain a strict diet in every way
by eating incapacitated human beans(sic)