And in the end, I know you tried to be kind
In the only screwed up way you knew how
But you really hurt me
We really should have never happened
Birthday the same day as my ex-husband
I told you from the start, it will end badly but the sex will be hot
You took such good care of me
First date that shouldn\'t have been, Covid on Christmas
You bringing me popsicles with paper towel wrapped around the bottom so my hands didn\'t get cold
And making me iced coffee when I cried that I wanted to go home
Borrowing your jammies and napping the day away in your bed
Covid didn\'t stop you from kissing me
And mushrooms on Christmas Eve
You kept me five days...maybe it was all Stockholm Syndrome
I still think of you, carefully observing me
Noting that my eyes are green with brown rings around the pupils, with a dark blue ring around the outside
In afternoon sun, lying on your bed
Cataloging me, only you ever noticed the blue
Still missing you
Waking me up breathing in my skin, tucked up and into you
Smelling the back of my neck, starting up again
Taking in my pheromones, telling me I turn sweet and just taking me again
I think of you kissing me in the kitchen, cradling my face in your hands
Then you ruined it by saying I looked smitten and to tell the truth, I would have been
You made me think I could trust you to catch me if I did fall
I can\'t help I approach everything with wide eyes and an open heart
Always listening to you, with your run on stream of consciousness
Talking about events from years ago, since you dont really live now
You said we didn\'t have anything in common
We did on paper, but you are not the person you said you were at all
And you never asked me anything about myself, and got annoyed if I interjected anything to the same stories you kept telling
Concerts and festivals years ago
And here I was looking at tickets, thinking this could still work
You weren\'t a spark of possibility, but the last ember of a fire burnt out long ago
You should have just had a conversation with me
And not your ex-wife
Her helping write a cold and impersonal text message because she\'s \"polite\"
She didn\'t know me at all
The last time I saw you, apparently normal people don\'t have face to face conversations?
Seeing you hands clenched, red faced and shaking, all anxiety
Twisting all my words to suit your excuses, I knew there was nothing I could say now
But you said you like me?
I think you were just lonely
Or if you just wanted sex, you should\'ve said so.
It doesn\'t stop me from thinking good thoughts, missing you, and wishing you well.
You will probably get a box of glitter on your birthday, though.