prayer

i’ve been feeling recently like things i’m not 

like a man without a motive 

i’ve been feeling like locomotives 

crashing and dismantling and then being rebuilt 

like an ant without a hill 

like a pig that never squeals 

i feel like a bird without a flock 

like a key without a lock 

i feel like a church without a bell 

like a prayer i’ll never tell 

i feel like a song without a note 

like a letter i never wrote 

i feel like a regret of mine 

i feel like a clock without the time 

i feel like blood outside of my body 

i feel like a dead body in a hotel lobby that no one sees

i feel like i’m feeling too many things 

i feel stepped and spoken over 

i feel like this is my coffin closer 

my mortal moments are hopeless 

when life’s this outta focus 

i can’t figure out questions and their answers 

i can’t be alone and won’t be someone’s master 

“i have an equal heart to everyone’s,”

i tell the goat giving my soul a stamp

“but my sacrifice isn’t blood… it’s loved ones.”

and now i’m free to die in its trap 

someone i am, with decisions i made 

people should see me now and be not afraid