It\'s hard to live
in the now
To breathe any breaths.
I am encapsulated,
an iron lung, each
breath
must be diligently thought out
as if one imperfectly placed
inhale
could tick off the wrong nerve.
As I speak my knees tickle,
heals feel as if I have tread spikes.
i can\'t
help but feel i am responsible.
I\'ve meticulously calculated each of my needed
exhales, at the expense of every nerve,
every cell;
my humanity has fled.
starved and immobile,
how do i live
breathe
without further distress?