the first time I slit my wrists
lost in existential nihilism, I was intent
told myself today is the end
there is no future for me, when the flowers are dead
and when I look at the sky I see darkness
sweet emptiness filling my stomach at seventeen
I never could\'ve imagined how fucked up things would be
how shit I feel, looking at you
loving mother disappearing into silence
glad those vines have grown over the wounds
because when the blood is seeping and the drugs don\'t work
I bleed pearls until it hurts
until I\'m so far into my own insanity
I see myself in troubled skies, sleeping when I should be
violently dreaming of paradise.