Niki Oz

Hidden

I hid inside myself that day. That day my whole world came crashing down around me. That day I realized I would never be enough. My insides turned to ash while on the outside I smiled. Hoping that my smile would hide the fact that inside I was uncontrollably screaming. The pain so fierce it was scratching to the surface as I tried so completely to drown it in the everlasting emptiness that was my soul.  The pressure built up from the pain so intense that my tears flowed like red rivers down my cheeks. My thighs cut like glass all so I could hide it. So you would see nothing less than my smile. Hide from you the damage you caused because still in this condition your happiness is far beyond the importance of even my life force. I stand before you perfect; while all the while I\'ve been broken and soul less. I hide. 

I hide so you can feel better about yourself; so you don\'t have to feel the pain of feeling worthless, powerless, unloved and weak. I hide so you can shine as I dwell in the shadow making sure the spotlight is always directly on you. I hurt so you never have to feel the pain. I cry so you may never feel your cheeks wet. I go broke so you can feel rich. I become submissive so you can feel dominant and powerful. I gave you all of me so you could feel whole. You never even noticed. So i continue to hide. It\'s worth it just to see you glow, even if that means dimming my own light. Still I\'ll hide for you.