Foul brute,
You wished to murder the reflection
But the glass shattered in an instant –
It’s not like you
To be stuck in a mind maze.
All day - head daze.
There’s a layer,
Within many layers,
That’s slowly devouring you.
It could be the way the light was dimmed,
Or perhaps the way it’s been cupped your whole life -
That’s led to this torture – but could it be?
Over time,
I’ve been unraveling each sheet and coat
Like a sour onion.
I’ve tried to meticulously
Get down to the roots – of you.
But it feels like I’m caught in barbed wire –
All the snares the enemy has
Tied and looped into perfect positioning –
Has caught your foot.
The psychiatrist
Initiates exercises each time you visit:
“First, close your eyes – and search for your core.”
She says it’s the glabella
That carries all the burdens of the mind –
She says it’s time to work that stress away:
“Envision yourself in an empty room... got it?
Okay, now picture your brain as the landmark of your thoughts,
Whenever you feel an impulse take control,
Maneuver it back to your center.”
However, you got lost in the 1st step, and the emptiness
Of the room has engulfed you into panic –
It’s the way the walls are too white
And the way the air is too tight –
Or the recollection of the unattended cradle
Swaying through the night –
But She says to focus on the exercise,
She says it with a redheaded glare.
“Have you found your center?”
She interrogates. But the hour is too late -
An open window blows a breeze of plum tree into the face –
The nectarous aroma grabs you by the nostrils –
And leads you back home.
The shards stay laying on the bathroom tiles –
All the while you write because She
Says it helps – and because it’s what you like.
It conjures up the dreaded days – and gives it new life.
The notebook is closed now –
But you’re sure to return tomorrow.
And you try to piece the mirror back together again.
Do you see me in the cracked reflection?