redenanimous

17 turning 70

a birthday is approaching

another memory kicks in.

it\'s somewhat vague

yet it lingers,

just another blurry haze.

and now it\'s repeating.

i can\'t say it was traumatic,

it doesn\'t leave me trembling

and it\'s not making my throat dry

but it does

make me flinch a little 

it does make me hitch my breath

and yet

why would it traumatize me if i wanted it to happen.

why would it traumatize me if i begged for it,

if i\'m still begging for it,

if i still dream of it.