What defines happy seemed unnecessary
As the fog drifted further away.
Sinking around me, filling my lungs;
though, unnoticed until it cleared.
When it was lifted, my mind sifted. Like flour, decluttered from anxiety and fear.
The world moved without me- I have to catch up! But it’s no longer just me.
I beg him knowingly, silently, “Trust Me!”
All the same, feeling that spiraling feeling inside, recognizing and remembering how she pains to feed pride.
Feeling I could easily lose this feeling, my only fear left from sifted flour-
Being afraid of changing back…or wandering,
tripping and falling, back into the fog…
Making a wrong turn, bad advice, thinking the wrong thing and a heaviness overcoming, pushing me there.
WHY AM I SCARED? - I really shouldn’t be.
What I have defines happy - MY happy
Mine is free, here, present and loves me
Waiting to hold me, even when he is tired of pushing, tired of working, or being angry.
Knows that his world fits snuggly in his arms under the covers.
I need, want, to know content-ness. To not self destruct - To keep the fog away.
At bay-
To continue the practice of preparing, growing and choosing,
two side by side recliners and sharing our grand adventure.