just.trying

the truth about not making memories

they have memories…

memories of going to prom, memories of buying beautiful dresses for homecoming, playing soccer, and the feeling of winning against the rival high school.

I don’t say that their lives are perfect, but what they have are memories - memories I will never get to experience. They have the types of memories that you will tell your kids and grandchildren when you grow up, memories that you wish you will never forget.

Your first promposal, your first time being the prom king and queen. I don’t have these types of memories. The memories I have, I wish to forget, sitting alone in the back of the class, fighting the internal fight of trying to get up in the morning. Not having the chance to go to prom. Not getting to wear beautiful prom dresses and never knowing how it is to be asked to go to prom. Jealousy is and never will be a beautiful feeling. But unfortunately we still feel it from time to time, feeling jealous about the memories we will never be able to make, the missed chances others took, and asking yourself, why isn’t it me, who is making those memories.