Paul Bell

The Device

Mandy, am I right in thinking you wear a brassiere.

We just call them bra’s, Paul, cuts out the middleman, and as you can see, yes.

Right, is there any chance I could borrow one of your bra’s.

Most guys go for the knickers, why do you want a bra.

I want to put something in it.

That is gross, no wonder Jenny dumped you.

She didn’t dump me for that.

So what is it then, are you obsessed with my breasts.

No, I’m not obsessed with your breasts.

Why not, what’s wrong with them.

Nothing\'s wrong with them, they’re great.

That is so inappropriate for senior management, I’ve got a good mind to report you.

I want to put a device in your bra, and if the response is what I know it will be, I’ll offer you fifty percent in my new company.

That sounds intriguing, Paul, so what do I have to do.

Just give me one of your bra’s, I’ll put the device in it, you go home and put it on. They’re three settings on it, so start at one and see how you get on.

Should I include Joe in this experiment.

Well, the more feedback, the better.

Next day. So, what’s the feedback.

I put Joe in hospital, that’s the feedback.

What, what the hell did you do.

I put it on setting one, and after a few minutes I felt this tingling sensation, and that just put me in the mood. Then I got Joe into bed and turned it onto setting two. My god, I was demanding sex in every position conceivable, it was fantastic like out of this world, so then I went to position three as I was straddling him on the kitchen table. It sent me mental, I must have scratched and punched him to a pulp, cos he was unconscious when I came round. 

Right, so maybe we should get rid of position three.

No, I was thinking we could market position three for S and M clients.

That is a great executive decision, Mandy, I can see this company going from strength to strength.

One thing, Paul, why can’t you put this device in woman’s knickers, would that not work just as well.

It did work just as well, Mandy. I gave a pair to Jenny, and she dumped me two days later with the words. You are now surplus to requirements.