Sara Beth Bonner

Drowning

Sometimes I feel sad, but that\'s not so bad

Because a lot of the time, I just feel nothing

I feel empty of everything

Of emotion, of expression, of strength

I often compare it to drowning:

 

There is no escape, just accept the fate

Lungs are full, but of the wrong thing

Eyes only seeing endless blue

Time slows down as you fade away

There is no hope, but you don\'t care

Every second feels the lowest

But then in the next, you are lower still

 

These times are alright, I guess

Because nothing seems to matter anymore

But then you get scared

Scared of your lack of… everything

The fear makes you feel disappointed in yourself

The disappointment makes you sad

You are feeling again

That\'s good. Right?

All the emotions come back

They flood you

But with a breath of air

But you are still drowning

The air only makes you remember why drowning is bad

It makes it hurt again

But you can\'t help but give a little smile

Because, you remind yourself

That you are actually afraid to die

And you don\'t want to give in that easy

 

Sometimes I feel sad, but that\'s not so bad

Because at least it means I can still feel

 

Those breaths of air

Amid the drowning

Keep me alive

And remind me that someday

I will be pulled from the water

Air will come freely

Emotions will be constant reminders

Of a life worth living

Sadness

Happiness

Anger

Love

Fear

Hope

All there

The best hug I\'ve ever received

Simply because they are there

 

I know I can live

So I want to

For the emotions

And the people to share them with