Sometimes the thoughts are worse an the people,
While the actions were hurtful. The thoughts are
Only there to remind me what they have done.
An endless loop playing the scenes over again.
Leaving me to question what I could have done.
Uncertain anxiety to come,
Holding me back out of fear of what if.
Fading into the shadows to not be recognized or stand.
Closing myself Off to build walls.
A coping mechanism
That keeps me bound to those memories that
Haunt me. Ghost of the past telling me to
Let go and forgive and forget what
Happen, but facing those fears only brings back
The thought of what if it happens again.