M. Evermore

A Poem of Myself

I live in a world

Always wanting, always thirsting, always searching

For an item I don\'t know exists

Or is it an emotion? A place? A person?

I don\'t know, I don\'t know, I don\'t know

Will I find it in that creature\'s soul?

Or will it be hidden in the depths of someone\'s heart?

This sickness, this longing,

For something unattainable,

Something just out of reach

A feather falling, a soft wind blowing,

 A shadow slipping, a sea\'s gentle waves pulling

Making me long to be above,

Making me long to be below

The pictures, the memories,

All swirling together to make the perfect home

An illusion, a hallucination, a mind\'s cruel tricks

Homesick for something unreal, unreachable, and unattainable

Homesick for something I cannot find on my own

Help me, save me

I don\'t know which

Am I to be the earth or the sky?

Grounded, safe, connected to all

Free, and wild, unseeable to all

Maybe both. Always both

A void, that\'s what it is

A monster of my own making

Come, see the dark side of the moon

Forevermore there, nevermore seen

Tangible or intangible?

Decide, if you please

Cruelty and mockery

I\'ve made my peace

Contradictions seen and more unknown

Save me from the unknown toll

Always watching, always wanting

Loyalty comes first, personal comes last

Empty, numb

Only sometimes now

Hated, feared

Only a warning now

Family, friends

One is real, the other nonexistent

I care, I don\'t care

I am happy, I am angered

I am individual, I am lone

I am free

Grow wings. Fly

One day, I will

Love is unconditional

It is not, it is not, it is not

Family is unconditional

Loyalty

Where do I stand?

On the battlefield, it whispers, you belong on the battlefield

Rage

Easy to rise, a fight to control

Hate - always

Guilt - always

Stress - always

Save me, bathe me

Queen of all sins

Liar, cheater, bully, two-faced

Multifaceted

Longing, hating, 

I am but life and death

Hidden from the world,

Seen by the world

I give you lies

Dark and darker still

Angel face, devil mind

Half, actually

A fight, only sometimes

Where is my home?

Death, peace, love, life?

I have been searching,

Always searching

Always alone

I don\'t want to be alone

Help me find my home