there’s an ant infestation in my home
i wake up full of nightmares sometimes
i wake up sweaty and cold
i woke up today with a tickle on my wrist
an ant climbing through the hairs on my arm up to my elbow
i watched it
i used to not want to kill the ants
i still don’t
so through curled lips i’ll blow a short breathe
shooting the ant straight off my skin
never to know where it lands,
it’s somewhere in my room
that i lay poison down in the corners of
dust and goop, plastic traps filled with powder
i’m not the killer i just laid them down there
for ants to eat and curl up and croak
when i see an ant i don’t smush it, i blow
i don’t know why
i don’t want to watch it wilt
i over water my flowers and it gets them killed
i don’t know why i won’t let them grow
i can’t fulfill a future full such unknowns