Smith Johnson
Was a very good man
A very good man indeed
He never did slow
Was always on the go
As early as a quarter past three
He\'d spend all day
In a hurried rush
Everywhere he went
And I never did hear
Him shout or swear
He was such a lovely gent
But then one day
He went running by
And I called on him
To stop
But he looked at me
With a funny looking plea
Saying he had to trot
So off he sped
Around the bend
But I followed him
At a run
\'My friend\' I called
But then became appalled
At what I came upon
I saw Smith Johnson
Down the lane
With trousers around his legs
\'Oh shit!\' he cried
As a turd flew by
Nearly missing the top of my head
\'Im sorry\' he said
Looking mightily red
\'Its this diet for my heart.
It\'s the beans you see.
They\'re good for me
But more than make me fart.\'
\' And if I stop
Well I get the trots
And have to admit defeat\'
And it\'s always luck
If I shit or fart
A bit like a trick or treat\'
Poor Smith Johnson
And his bean filled diet
That led to his guteral plight
Let\'s face it folks
It\'s really no joke
To have fear of uncontrolled shite
Smith Johnson
Was a very good man
A very good man indeed
And now I know
Why he was on the go
He was looking for a lavatory