I feel crazy
Tap tap tap
The water goes
One
Two
Three
Four
Wait, 4?
No,no,no
It has to be 5,
No 6,7,8,9
Do it, do it, do it
Do you want something bad to happen?
No? So go ahead, wash your hands
Again
You need more soap
Wait you can’t leave the house yet
You haven’t closed all the cabinets
You haven’t touched the doorknobs
Remember to touch it with your right and your left
Wait you messed up
You need to do it all over again
My crazy
It’s coming again
The constant barrage of patterns
Things I need to do
I feel crazy
I get dressed in the morning
Right foot, left foot
Right hand, left hand
Wait, you did it wrong
Take it off and do it again
The crazy gets to me
And I can’t turn it off
I try to flip the switch
On and off
On and off
On and off
It needs to be three times, remember?
Not two, and not four
Definitely not 4
Back to the switch
It’s broken
I’m left with my thoughts and me
I get into bed at night
Did I do my bedtime routine?
Nope, get out of bed and do it
Do it till it feels right
Does it feel right?
Yes, okay you’re good
Wait, you touched something else, you have to do it again
The crazy never stops
The voice keeps speaking to me
Telling me that something bad will happen
Someone will get hurt
Someone will die
And it’ll be all my fault
Because I didn’t touch the doorknob with my right and my left.
Crazy right?