Garth Rakumakoe

From My Bubble, Many A Time

Lookin\' out, from my bubble
between the pages of life\'s book
under life\'s daylight color 
I\'ve read of it, seen it,
lived through it 
and even heard of it, alone
among crowds of people 

I\'ve always worn
my heart on my sleeve 
for another, and
without asking permission
I realize, I\'ve always been one
to wear their misfit shoes,
walk a bit of their mile
internalize their pain and realize 
I\'ve fallen prey many a time
to being labelled 
a people pleaser 
and too soft a heart, the price
of being humane
That\'s just the soul I am

From my bubble, I\'ve come 
to appreciate a patient stillness
savour acceptance, and love 
being the absence of judgment
in all madness abound 
in much the same way, I\'ve come
to see value, many a time 
in the chess science, self-secrecy 
and education, of offering 
the first apology, for the sake
of peace, a weakness 
worth chastize in the eyes 
of many

I\'ve come far enough 
to value quiet observation
lending an open ear
and good deceit, or deceit for good
if such exists
I\'ve learned the dignified art
of calmness in the face
of aggressive confrontation
arrogant bigotry 
and conceited indignation
that despite my best effort
I never could match
A fight I traded, in pursuit rather
of that inner peace 
that surpasses mortal understanding
including, many a time 
that of my own 

Yet I have had to, painstakingly 
fathom; the earnest man
seeks not recognition
in writing his own story
so it is that, this time around
on the graffiti of all disenchantment 
I have learned to be okay 
with being invisible 
I\'ve even fought, won and lost 
to all the living crypted mazes 
of friendships, love, and honesty
and failed against my own standards 
and those of others
\'gainst my forstered shortcomings 
battles from which shame\'s last name
taught me redemption\'s first

Learning along the way
and looking back, so far
I wouldn\'t alter my compass
and still wish to, 
on this lonesome trail in my mind
remain ever same
til this bubble bursts