I thought I remembered their names
But it has been too long a time
I can never remember what I say
Because all of it is a lie
So much wasted time
Pursuing something I am not
All this loathing and doubt
Over this ideal I’ve sought
I am no different from any other
I long for love and acceptance
So I chased and cultivated beauty
To stave off rejection’s cruel remembrance
Delusions come abound
For the hope-starved heart
‘If only I do this!’ ‘If only I wear that!’
Ever piercing are these poison darts
How sweet the venom
Of such affirming lies
For the truth cannot be known
To hear it is to die
Yet ever aware will you be
It will ring forever in your ears
Never will you escape those nagging doubts
It will haunt you through all your lonely years