Why am I dating the same age of boys that I dated when I was 15?
Is it because I was less then desirable in middle school?
The second I got to highschool I looked different and I was being called pretty and hot and sexy
And even though I disagreed I was finally getting attention
I was told I had a beautiful body and that was all I ever had wanted
Little did I know it wasn’t real
I was too young to know they only wanted one thing
It could also be because I don’t like who I am
Constantly searching for the bad ones, why?
Because thats what I deserve right?
Getting that attention means someone likes me more then I do
Little did know they would only like me until they got bored
I was too young to know this wasn’t love
Or is it because I grew up watching my parents argue everyday
My image of a relationship had been tainted by spewing words after too many drinks
This was the relationship no one wanted
This is the relationship I would later find myself in
Constantly screaming and fighting
Broke down just be built back up again
A torturous cycle
Little did I know this wasn’t okay
I was too young to know that I needed to leave
I’m older now and I don’t need the male validation I once craved
I don’t need the attention because I learned it wasn’t real
Im older now and I know which ones are good.
I learned what love is and I definitely know what it isn’t
I older now and I recognized not to follow my parents footsteps.
I know to do better and I learned that isn’t what a relationship is supposed to look like.
I’m older now and I learned how to have boundaries
I learned it is okay to leave.
Im older now and I have found out that all the bad are lessons learned.