Upon a Rock
How do you hide
a crushed and broken heart?
For years you sit at the bar
downing drinks and throwing darts.
Play the sad songs on the Juke
but don’t ever dance.
Get asked out for dates, but decline.
No sense taking another chance.
Complain about your life, endlessly.
When they ask how you’re doing
say your heart’s a raging sea
of agony and misery.
When your doctor says to exercise
tell him that you’ll try.
Then get a large coke and a large fries
to go with your pizza pie.
Let your body go to flab.
Add some poundage to your waist.
Fill it with alcohol, sugar, and fat
until your knees must be replaced.
When you’re having trouble breathing
blame it on pollution.
When you can’t stand up without wheezing
tell them a drink’s the only solution.
Keep your promise to the E.R. Doc
Go to the gym every day. Just don\'t go in.
Cross the street to the Pub where the locals flock
and order a Sapphire Bombay Gin.
By this time, you’ll be fifty-four
and the girl who broke your heart
will be in her third divorce…
Here’s to Cupid and his darts!