Rocky Lagou

\"THE GAY VIRUS\"

There’s a new virus goin’ around,

There’s a new virus ‘round town.

It goes by the name of “HOMO-19.”

I heard it’s highly contagious, ‘specially to the young.

 

There’s a new virus goin’ around,

There’s a new virus ‘round town.

With many variants, like “Lesbo-ivitis,” and “trans-emonia”

That’s spreading like wildfire, or so I heard.

 

Oh, really Bernice? Well let me ask ya this,

When God was schmoozing with ole Moses up on Mt. Sinai givin’

Him the Ten Commandments, did the fine print say:

“11th: Hate your fellow gay as you hate yourself?”

 

Oh, shut ya mouth Edna.

You know what I’m tryna say,

This thang’s goin’ haywire.

Anyway, since when you been all butthurt ‘bout it?

 

Ever since they said, “it’s a boy.”

Listen Bernice, I don’t want my child to be raised in a society

That bedevils him just because of who he is. If he turn out straight

“Hallelu,” but if not I ain’t gon’ be crucifying him.

 

Oh no, Edna.

They’ve gotten you too!

Stay away from me, I don’t talk to fools.

No, sir-ee. Not this time.

 

Oh Bernice, aw aw, go take ya prejudice somewhere else,

Anyway YOUS is on MY porch, so go vamoose on outta here.

What de gays ever don de you?

I swear ya act like it’s so excruciating, who they hurtin’?

 

Uh- um, well… I mean ya know,

The way they go outta principles, like ya know we

Got PRINCIPLES to follow Edna! PRINCIPLES!

Or is you gon’ tell me ya ain’t a Christian no mo’?

 

Bernice I been told you,

I am a faithful child o’ God.

But listen here Bernice... come close,

No come closer, come closer.

 

“HE LOVES EVERYONE!”

 

Oh, dammit, Edna,

How’s ya gon’ scream in my ear like dat!

It’s like ya got da devil written all over ya!

“Oh, sweet Jesus, hallelu, come over this woman on this day!”

 

What Bernice? You got the audacity to “shoo” me outta my own home,

And call me a “fool.” It only serves you right.

But it’s true Bernice, He don’t discriminate;

We’re the only ones doing so... and it starts with people like you!

 

Edna, you know what,

I’m gon’ make my way to Aunt Sally’s porch,

Yours is too darn “modernized” and “open-minded.”

Just keep in mind... THEY GOT YA, Oh they GOT YA, alright!

 

Yeah, Bernice, keep on walkin’

Keep on walkin’

Yous is the only virus here, the only real virus!

God have mercy over this ignorant human race!