Today i felt a revelation that my heart is broken, not just in pain, not just in languish but the true sense of starvation. My heart is stagnant and trapped with the pain of the struggles of yesterday. I don’t know how it happened but over time the defining silence of reflection brought about by relationships and toil have given my heart to the hard long road trying every last twig broken and I have become captive of its trying slow distruction. To say I haven’t tried is to say that i was never born. To say that every grain of my soul hasn’t been affected is surly brevity. Now my heart is surely feeling the torrent blows like metal out of a blast furnace had been pounded into cold steal so are the scars that my heart has been slain. I have always put my heart first and seeking a place to be nourished but i have come up short and felt the landmine around crushing any beauty left. My heart feels as though a doctor has pronounced me dead. Looking for that elusive partner has proved to have laid waste to my wonder and hope. I hope that’s all i can do to have it repaired from its true demise. I ask for help and it comes in the form of cardiac catheterization. Does love come at such a high cost...so it shall be so it shall be...only someone knows? So i try and die...my heart is good, but my hearts good bye.