Treasure in the shed.
There’s an awful lot of treasure in our garden shed.
In Fact it’s full up to the brim.
Lots of lovely artifacts that were no use to anyone.
But you never know they may well just come in.
A broken flag my Grandad proudly carried.
That blow up doll our Eric went and married !
Took her on a honeymoon to Kent.
A fancy do-wi vaulouvants all the family went.
The blushing bride brought her family too.
Rejects from Madame Tussauds they all came to the do
The wedding night lost some of its allure
When he bit her on the neck, she farted then shot through the door.
It all ended in tears and in divorce.
They tried in vain to rekindle love, to patch it up of.course
Their relationship on the rocks, it was a wreck.
A blow up doll with bite holes all around her neck.
There’s a video player made by Betamax
A leather bound folder that was known as Filofax
Inside listed contacts,dinner dates and deals.
Some were so darn heavy, you pushed \'em round on wheels.
There’s a wing mirror from an Austin metro.
It’s the sort of thing we wouldn’t like to let go.
We’ll keep it in our shed all safe and sound.
Until we got ourselves a car,when the other bits we’ve found.
There’s a stamp album that’s full of penny blacks
The corpse of next door’s missing cat.
A copy of the bible with autographs on the cover.
Signed “ With love Jesus, Joseph and his Mother.!”
There’s a fella named Lord Lucan within our shed he hides.
With his lovely Racehorse Shergar by his side.
There’s’ this German fella with a black moustache.
He loooks like Charlie Chaplain but we never see him laugh.
There’s a ghetto blaster stereo with horn and woofer speakers
A pair of Reebok classics, a real cool pair of sneekers.
A pogo stick and a pair of Clackers.
They were really painful if they hit you in the …….. Knuckles!
Therr’s a Do Do bird from a taxidermist
Something that our Father bought we he was slightly……… drunk
It gets out of its case and walks around,
we ‘d like to get another but they simply can’t be found
He seems to enjoy living in this way.
We’ve never seen him stretch his little wings to fly away.
There’s a Ouija board once owned by Uncle Ray.
Ray was dyslexic so he couldn’t make it pay.
His failed to spell the names of the spirits checking in.
Claiming “CFDXP” was a ghostly bloke called “ Tim!”
So join our band of hoarders and don’t throw things away.
They are bound to come in handy on another day.
If a relative is ill, or better, becomes dead.
Take the contents of their home and put it in your shed !