I said, “I love you”
But did I really?
Did I really love you?
I love the days when the skies were blue, and the dishes after takeout
The endless nights and the crisp morning air
The silent laughter
The shopping trips
The “love”?
No.
That’s not what it was
It was need
Want
Dependence
Coping
Attention
Do you know what I did love?
I loved the bad
The comfort of the bad
I loved the unnecessary comments
That would turn into arguments
That lasted for days
I loved the days when we wouldn\'t look at each other, because honestly,
Neither of us could face what we said during those arguments
I loved the anger
The shame
The relentlessness
The shock
The Hurricane
When we were in the eye I didn’t feel happy as I should have
I felt… dissatisfied is the word I think
I did not love you
I don’t think I ever did
You were a coping mechanism
I used you
I’ll admit that
But I’m not sorry because in the end
You used me too