EzraDoesArtStuff

she at that old booth

sitting at that old booth with the creaky benches   there we sat drinking the atmosphere in   big and bright and loud with lots of live musicians my god were they bad at singing and the chatter between each and every table   me and my sister we never got along as well as we do now were simply sitting there plates cleared glasses empty ready to take our leave and let the waitresses and busboys do their work   yet there they would sit mama and papa a pair a duo a match made in heaven however youd describe it glasses in hand   that golden vice that purple sin that tangy bitter hell that i was always told to get used to   there theyd sit for hours on end sipping away ordering just one more then well go home but it was never so   almost as if she was another member of the family that vice   it wasn’t always just me and my sister sometimes thered be other kids friends acquaintances you could slice it seven ways to sunday   the mamas and papas who sat at the other tables were the same way drink after drink going loopy and crazy they liked to kiss my cheek when we said goodbye   weird   i didnt like how they smelled after they were finished with their just one more but it was something i grew to block out   other people smelled much worse of it and they were the ones who scared me not that i said anything as a child who was raised in a household of not making waves and to not say anything that would hurt other people on purpose   many times i had tried to fall asleep sitting at that old booth with the creaky benches   my childhood was on those benches those faux leather benches that were absolutely freezing the minute you sat down sending a zzzzing up your spine and that made your butt sweat and stick when you sat down for too long and youd have to peel yourself from those benches especially in those hot maryland summers   hot maryland summers turned into hot colorado summers and by then i had learned and become accustomed to the vice   i made conversation   i played along   i did whatever i could to keep from being bored exhausted angry at the vice that kept us places for much longer than necessary god forbid i become angry at the vice for it was a part of life for me   then the match made in heaven turned hellish as mama went away   mama went away to get better and god damn get better she did   papa too they made a commitment to each other and to me and my sister to stop using the vice   i did what i could to help mama through her recovery and i started seeing it everywhere everywhere everywhere i looked it was there   mamas better now and so is papa   theyre so much better and happier   but she still sits in my memories   being smooched on the cheek by adults i barely knew   the sitting for hours   the smell   she sits in my memories sitting at that old booth with creaky benches

 

beckoning   awaiting a smooch

 

~your children