being alone with myself
who
what
where
when
why
is all that i think of
when it’s silent
when it’s empty
when every thing just stops
when everything comes to an end.
the end
a prolonged journey
the light at the end of the tunnel
or so i thought
or what we all think.
I do still try to believe that but each day reality hits me even more
i am no longer that young, free or careless child that i once was
how i ought to be like that once again
that i beg to be
to have this weight and pressure relived off of my shoulders
to just be normal.
to not have these vicious shards of built up hurt
pain
heartbreak
suffer
anger
trauma
to feel at peace with myself and the world and everyone in it.
i want to cry
i want to release the floodgates of tear that are inching to get out of my eyes
but im afraid
afraid of what may happen when i allow this pain to overtake my face
my soul
i want to let these tears our of my body and allow them to destruct and deform my gentle and baby like skin that has already been ruined by the years, months and weeks of loneliness.
alone. silent. peace. overwhelming. triggering. alone.