Why do I awake with the need to attain?
Every morning, always the same.
There is a lapse in my self-worth.
Chosen or forced?
I believe I\'m a man of substance.
Maybe just one of reluctance?
The void of uncertainty of I am or was...
Whatever is given to me, is not enough...
Somber but never restful...
Never sharp, just dull.
If I die in my sleep, will I find the cornerstone of my existence before I slip to the other realm?
Maybe eternally drift in a sorrowful swell...
Of every thought I believed to be me...
Repeatedly taken out to sea...
I\'m confused to comprehend that my sanity may have always been in jeopardy...
Or my confusion is what I attain to achieve...every new day that I believe...
That I died long ago and exist in what never can be...
For my sins now curse me...
And Heaven attained...is my fallacy.