Chanel T.

Acceptance

Acceptance. 
I gave you two yrs of my love. My patience’s, my being. And now I know you can’t give someone all of you…..it can be too much for some. And if or when they leave…..you are left empty and shattered. Broken….and in pain. You are left wondering…..was I to overbearing? 

The last month of our relationship you became more distant….more dark. You mentally clocked out of our bound. You were not the man I fell in love with. My sweet man that wanted to be around me almost everyday…..the man that couldn’t wait for me to get off from work. You tuned out. Yet I still fought….I fought for us until I had nothing left. You broke me….and you never should have had that power in the first place…..but I thought you were the love of my life. Deep down I still do believe you are the love of my life…..

You expressed to me that you were in a dark place….and you couldn’t balance our relationship…..for months I have asked you what’s going on….and you would always shut me out and avoid anything was wrong. You hated conflict. You didn’t want to fight for our relationship. 

But on our final goodbye…..you hugged me….and I wanted to stay there in your arms…..because your arms used to be my home. When you said goodbye I motioned you over for one last hug…..you became watery eyed…..that’s all I ever wanted from you….to open up and show me your emotions and everything you felt deep down inside. But you are a lockbox. You will have to be the person to find that key and open up to others. I will always love you…..and it still hurts you are gone….but I must accept it. Or the thoughts and memories will drown me alive.