First, you need to mix the potion.
You must read the instructions very carefully
You don’t want to be summoning up any old witch.
So make sure it’s the October manual.
Especially as we know what happened last year.
How you got October mixed up with November is nobody\'s business.
But my god, when I saw the fire brigade heading to the House of Parliament, I just thought to myself, what has the idiot done this time.
Now I know what you’re going to say.
What about that little corporal guy you summoned up.
Okay, I take that on board, he looked harmless enough, little pencil moustache set him apart from the usual riff-raff.
How the hell was I to know he wanted to rule the world.
Just goes to show you.
Nearly lost my brewing licence over that.
Then you went for, in your own words, that guy who makes people laugh.
Atila for fun.
Are you dyslexic or what.
The grief that caused
Another warning handed out.
So let\'s have a look at the screw-ups over the years, see if we can rectify them this year.
This is what you’ve summoned up so far.
Liz Truss
The Tories
The Teletubbies.
That guy who said, I didn’t have sex with that woman, that week.
European Union
MPs Poets
You can see how the coven is not over the moon with this lot.
So, before you summon up anyone this year, I’m going to be looking over your shoulder, make sure you get it right.
Right, the mixture is brewing up fine, looking good.
Okay, begin the summoning up.
Oh, great spirit in the brew, sum us up something new.
Okay, looking good, coming through now.
A big blond dumb looking guy
Right, I like it, do you have a name for him.
Boris you think.
Looks like a Boris, I like it
But the main thing is.
He looks harmless enough...