When I look in the mirror each night,
I don’t see a person,
Now I get how that sounds
And I know it sounds dumb
But,
I don’t see a girl,
I see a blob,
Skin and bones with no structure,
And each time I look it is different from another,
When someone tells me I am skinny
I am forced to smile and agree
Because I cannot face the fact
That others see me as skinny and pretty
And I see myself as nothing more than a blob
These are my demons
They aren\'t all bad though
I find a way to find comfort in their loneliness
Although I argue with them
Every single every night
And I have to
avoid all mirrors
For the fear someone else will see me
the way that I do
They aren\'t all bad,
They are always there to tell me what I\'m doing wrong,
Your eating too much,
You not eating enough,
Why are you trying so hard,
your hideous,
When I describe a blob,
I don’t mean jelly on a plate
I mean skin on the bones
Not able to form what would be called normal
But normal is such a lose term
Maybe this is the normal
Not able to form a self portrait
in my own eyes
Not able to see what other see
Because my eyes deceive me
Maybe this is the normal
And in that case I don’t want to be normal.
I want to know what I look like
I want to be able to say I look nice
I want to be happy.
I want to be me.