When the pain is so overwhelming the only thing you can put on paper is tears. The only thing you can say is silent screams and muffled gasping from your hand over your mouth. When you can\'t breathe but are somehow still alive. When you can\'t eat and you can\'t sleep and you don\'t want to hurt yourself but don\'t want to wake up. That\'s when you know. That\'s when you know if you don\'t finally let go, it\'s going to kill you; you won\'t have to kill yourself.