The women’s restroom, the polar opposite of the men’s
The sweet aroma of vanilla and roses fills the air
Within each stall sits a soft, cushioned throne of velvet
A throne embellished with gold and silver and diamond
And not a single pipe goes through the marble walls
Because everyone knows women don’t poop
Instead, in each stall, there is a maid that bakes
Confections filled with sugar, spice, and everything nice
And there isn’t a mirror to be seen
Because women have full faces of makeup from birth
And fruit punch fountains replace the sinks
Because no woman in history has ever had dirty hands
And cotton candy machines decorate the walls instead of paper towel dispensers
Because what better to compliment the fruit punch?
And chocolate fondue in lieu of soap, of course
Because sweets are an absolute necessity
No woman will tell you any of this though
The women’s restroom is the polar opposite of the men’s