Empty broken bleeding bruised
So used to bein used
How am I so smart yet so nieve
Frozen in place when I need to run and leave
Sometimes I wish I even knew how to lie
Why cant I seem to let it out and cry
I mean I guess I really know the reason why
I know once I start it will never stop, deep breath, sigh
Its so hard to feel this and not just go get high
Everything falls apart just when Im no longer trying to die
I know you don’t understand I wish I could make you see
Beyond the fake smiles and peek at the real me
I try to put it into words and explain
However there are no words to describe my inside pain
I wish I could wash it all away like rain
Cant tell anyone without sounding like Im insaine
Sometimes I try and let it out bit by bit
Feels like a never ending dark pit
Im not really trying to chase anyone away
It happens all the time, broken promises, they never stay
When I open up and admit Im really not okay
I try to be careful of my words and what I say
I mean I don’t blame anyone Id run away if I could
Doing the opposite of exactly what I should
I think its getting worse as I cant even fake
The happiness and smiles not even for others sake
The one positive Ive been gripping onto since the summer
I know I fucked it up months ago, yet cant let go, what a fuckin bummer
Been working on putting what I need into words that are crystal clear
Still don’t get what I desperately need, so here comes the blood and silent tear
Killing me but Ive kinda known what exactly I must do
I know that its with the most love and that I know Im not whats best for you