Ever Been Mine
Saturday, November 26, 2022
3:20 PM
This journey is something special as I grow
Every time I think I\'m fully a woman I realize I don’t really know
I think I fool myself into believing that’s true
I realize I have so much more growing to do
To heal past traumas and grow my soul
To ascend my true path and make myself whole
I\'m trusting the universe above all the Lord
Releasing all the hurt and anger I somehow deeply stored
For years numbing all the unresolved pain
Like a cloud that never releases the rain
Its fear that keeps us all frozen in place
Never letting anyone see my true hidden face
Somehow found someone to share my secrets
Trusting fully, he gets it and will always keep it
We are not meant to hold it all inside
It finds its way out someway even if I can\'t fully cry
Feeling like I always fail no matter how hard I try
But at least for the first time in forever I no longer wish to die
I believe I have found my true other half even if he doesn\'t know
I know this because he\'s helped me heal from up high to down low
I am trying to do for him the same in return
Seems like the more I try the more I crash and burn
Impossible to find the right things to say
Trusting God will help me light the way
Because all I wish is to hold him close
I can\'t trick myself, he\'s the only one my soul wants the most
Somehow, I seem to keep pushing him away
Visualizing us holding each other somehow makes me feel safe and okay
I\'ve started to accept maybe we are not meant to be more than friends
Summer was the most magical time watching it begin again
I just keep messing up making him mad
That hurts me to the core so damn bad
I long for any kind of response to know his current feeling or thought
It\'s so depressing to just wonder now, searching for the lesson taught
All I want more than anything down deep or above
Is to share all this pent up locked away love
Maybe one day we can just have fun again and chill
And I can feel if it\'s there for him still
I keep thinking when he said \"You can\'t rush perfection\"
Trying to slow myself down and just take it by the section
So, I don’t overwhelm myself with wondering how he currently may feel
Fighting with myself but my intuition says it is all real
So, I guess I\'ll just keep hanging in there in the meantime
Even if it was just temporary, he\'s the best thing that’s ever been mine.