i’m tired.
but i can’t sleep
cause my head hits the pillow
and i’m running from my dreams.
they chase me relentlessly
and i’ve got nothing defending me
but pride gets in the way of surrendering.
i’m tired.
i wake up with headaches
from lack of sleep
and nothing helps but caffeine.
but that’ll kill me faster.
and i’m not sure wether
i want to die in my sleep
or wake up after
or wake up sadder
or wake up madder
or wake up at all.
i’m tired.
and it’s sad,
cause you don’t appreciate your life
until your about to take it.
and you recognize the hatred
that’s boiling behind your eyes.
cause everything changes
in ways we can’t explain.
the mirror shows a stranger
with two weeks worth of stubble
and yellowing teeth
sunken eyes
and failing dreams.
i’m tired of broken ears
and fake tears.
an understanding
of something they don’t understand.
cause stupidity
and bravery
go hand in hand.
they tell me i’m fine
that it’s all fake,
but i’m asleep
even though my eyes
are wide awake.
they look down
cause they’re taller than me.
and i wanna scream
that it’s bothering me.
it’s like the other guys in the gym
that are broader than me.
cause no matter how hard i try
they’re still stronger than me.
everyone i once loved
used to be on a stand
but all their names
are written in the sand.
i’m crying and coughing
cause i’m going down
like nails in a coffin.
maybe then they’ll notice me
or hear me scream
or watch me bleed
on pristine sheets
pages of poems
that they’ll never read
a part of me
they didn’t wanna see
until i signed the deed.
i’m tired
but i can’t sleep,
and i’m starving
but ghosts don’t eat.