i wasn’t feeling lonely,
but when she ended the call to answer her boyfriend i died a little inside.
with tears streaming down my face, i begged the black screen to answer my cries.
i knew no one was there.
i wasn’t feeling lonely,
but i sought love out in everyone i saw.
a little love here in a pretty girl at the mall,
a little love there in the boy who hardly gives me back anything at all.
i gave everything i wanted,
compliments,
attention,
a smile.
i found love everywhere it wasn’t so obvious too,
in the cruel tongue of my mother,
in addiction,
but i couldn’t ever manage to find it for myself.
treat people how you want to be treated should be a dead saying.
should i treat people how i’m being treated?
i wasn’t feeling lonely,
but when my mother told me the kindest words got you the farthest,
i spent the day spewing out the nicest things i could think of.
is this what will make them love me?
i wasn’t lonely,
but i was most certainly feeling alone.